Ulysses Hyde walked up the stairs to the Waverley’s house. He needed to check in on Mrs. Waverley, seeing her husband was abducted by aliens. Such as shame.
Ulysses Hyde rung the doorbell twice before Mrs. Waverley answered the door. She was raw in the cheeks and pink in the eyes. Mr. Waverley’s funeral was that morning, and she’d still yet to change the black that covered her head to toe.
Mrs. Waverley looked at Ulysses Hyde through all her tears pooling in her eyes. “Can I help you?”
“Hello, my name is Ulysses Hyde. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to speak to you for just one moment,” said Ulysses.
“No, I don’t think this is a good time,” she replied.
“Oh, I know. Your husband, Mr. Waverley. Such a shame,” he said. He stuck his foot in the crack in the door.
“Yes. Still I don’t think I want to speak to anyone right now,” she said. Mrs. Waverley tried to push the door shut, but Ulysses Hyde and his foot were in the way.
“Mrs. Waverley, that’s what I’m here to talk to you about. We can get him back,” he said.
Mrs. Waverley stared blankly at Ulysses Hyde. She furrowed her brow and sniffed a time or two before she spoke again. “What do you mean. You know what happened to him, it was all over the papers. Please, if you could just leave me alone, that’s all I want right now.”
“Like I said, I know about your husband, such a shame, really. However, there’s still hope. We can get him back,” said Ulysses Hyde.
Mrs. Waverley argued only a while more before inviting Ulysses Hyde into her empty home. All her kids were away for school and couldn’t come for the funeral. The winter season was bad this year. Flights were cancelled. Roads were icy. Mrs. Waverley was alone. Such a shame.
The two sat down in the living room. Some of the pictures put into little frames were turned around or placed faced down. The house as a whole was clean, except for Mrs. Waverley’s bedroom. Regardless, there was no one to get the house dirty or no one to care if her room was a mess. Not like anyone was going to say anything.
“Look, Mrs. Waverley, we think that your husband was abducted by aliens approximately four days ago. We want to inform you that there is a way to get him back,” said Ulysses Hyde.
“No. What do you mean? Aliens? No. He was killed by the serial killer going around the city. Chopped him up by the joints and floated his pieces down the river in a trash bag. Have you not read the news? Did you not hear what happened to my husband?” she said.
“Yes I have. Such a shame,” he responded
“Aliens. How absurd. Truly, it was a bad idea to let you in. Please, I want you to leave,” she said.
“Yes, aliens took your husband. It’s not as absurd as it sounds. Not anything less than some guy running around and cutting people to chunks. Surely not,” he said.
“We had his funeral today. I saw him. His pieces that is.”
“But the aliens took him, Mrs. Waverley. There is a monumental amount of evidence that aliens exist. All over the world. All we need from you is $7,000,” said Ulysses Hyde.
“No, he was killed!” she persisted.
Ulysses Hyde slammed his hand on the coffee table. It shook the face-down picture frames. “You’re not listening, Mrs. Waverley. We can get him back.”
Mrs. Waverley couldn’t make eye contact. She fixed her suit and skirt. “I just don’t understand.”
“Most people don’t. It’s a complicated subject. A lot of science, really. But the bottom line is that they took your husband, Mrs. Waverley. In his sleep, we think. Such a shame,” he replied.
“Abducted by aliens. Where to even begin to look,” she replied.
“That’s why I’m here. We can pinpoint the spacecraft. I promise you we can get him back. All we need is $7,000,” he said.
“That’s a lot of money. We just spent a small fortune putting him in the ground,” Mrs. Waverley said.
“Yes, but really what’s the value on a life, Mrs. Waverley? Surely we can’t be putting a price on a life?” he asked.
“$7,000?” she asked.
“Yes, but think about having your husband back. Don’t worry about abstractions like money, Mrs. Waverley. Money won’t get him back.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Now I know it’s all very short notice, but most families like your own keep spare money in and around the house. So please, before we get started on retrieving your husband…the $7,000?”
“Yes. I have $4,000 in the house, and we received $3,000 from collections at my husband’s funeral.”
“Such a shame, Mrs. Waverley.”
Ulysses Hyde walked out of the Waverley’s with $7,000 in cash.
Usually they give up $10,000. But Ulysses felt especially bad for her husband being chopped up to bits and all.
Such a shame.